Episode 106 “Nothing Like The First Time” Transcript
By: Marissa Tandon
[SFX]: Bass thumps, loud and obnoxious. Teenagers CHEER.
TEENS: CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!
[SFX]: Static starts to cut into the music. The speakers start to shake. Teens SCREAM as the party begins to turn to chaos.
BAILEY: Oh, no.
[SFX]: Frantic footsteps.
ANIKA: We gotta – Bailey, we gotta get out of here.
BAILEY: Come on.
[SFX]: As Bailey and Anika exit the party, the speakers fully EXPLODE behind them.
[SFX]: A recording device bleeps on.
ANIKA: Are you seriously going to record this?
BAILEY: It was an episode, we’ve gotta keep track of them all.
ANIKA:But… I don’t want to talk about… it on tape.
BAILEY: If you can’t say sex, you shouldn’t be having it.
ANIKA: Well, I didn’t, did I?
BAILEY: Just walk me through it.
ANIKA: It started out – well, you know Cole. It started out sweet, and perfect.
BAILEY: Gag me.
[SFX]: Bass music plays loudly.
[SFX]: Two beer cans are opened.
COLE: M’lady. God, that was horrible, wasn’t it.
ANIKA: No, no. It was cute.
COLE: I’m just a little…
COLE: Is that weird? I know that’s probably not sexy, but.
ANIKA: I think it’s sweet.
BAILEY: Okay, yeah, skip the Sixteen Candles romance, will you?
ANIKA: Are you comparing me to Molly Ringwald right now?
BAILEY: Don’t be dumb. You’re totally Jake Ryan.
ANIKA: Thank you. So, whatever, we had a few drinks, and then we went upstairs.
BAILEY: Distinctly remember that part, you guys ditched me to the toxic teenage fornication pit.
ANIKA: Okay, ew, dude.
COLE: Did you, um, want to head upstairs?
BAILEY: No, come on, please don’t ditch –
ANIKA: Bye, love you, see you soonish!
BAILEY: Hate you!
ANIKA: She loves me.
[SFX]: They walk upstairs, away from the party, and the music fades a bit in the background.
ANIKA: Is there like, a room in particular you wanted to go to? Or just sort of Russian Roulette till we find an empty one?
COLE: Oh, I thought – Jason’s room should be empty, let’s –
[SFX]: A door is opened, then promptly shut.
COLE: Whoa, okay, not empty.
COLE: Russian Roulette it is.
[SFX]: Another door is opened.
ANIKA: Hello? Anyone naked in here?
COLE: I think we’re in the clear.
BAILEY: Okay, so I don’t get it. One second you guys are so sweet I think I’m gonna get a cavity just from sitting next to you, and the next the whole party is blowing up?
ANIKA: I don’t know, dude! Things were literally dream worthy. He brought a playlist –
BAILEY: To a house party?
ANIKA: He wanted it to be special! He’s going on and on about how much he…
BAILEY: How much he what? Wants you? Fantasizes about you?
ANIKA: Loves me.
BAILEY: Oh my God.
ANIKA: I know! Like, don’t you think it’s too soon? We’ve only been dating for six months, and –
BAILEY: And you’re crazy about him, dude.
ANIKA: No, I’m just crazy. We couldn’t even have sex because, what, my heart rate got too fast and I blew up the whole party?
BAILEY: You’re not crazy. You’re amazing. And he’s, you know, he’s fine.
ANIKA: He’s way better than fine, B, he’s like… he’s like sunshine, but the kind that’s falling on a puppy, or something, who’s totally basking in it.
BAILEY: See? Crazy about him.
COLE: God, I am just –
ANIKA: What? Is there something on my face?
COLE: No, your face is great. I love your face.
ANIKA: Oh. Thanks.
COLE:I… I love you. I didn’t mean to just – to blurt that out, you don’t have to –
ANIKA: I love you, too.
COLE: Oh. Cool.
ANIKA: Yeah. Crazy.
BAILEY: Are you going to try again?
ANIKA: Yeah. After I tell him.
BAILEY: Tell him what?
ANIKA: Tell him about me. Tell him the truth.
BAILEY: You’re sure?
ANIKA: I’m crazy. I’m crazy, but… yeah.
[SFX]: A sharp knock on a door.
SEAN: Come in.
[SFX]: The door opens and Heather walks in.
HEATHER: Hey, I’m gonna order dinner, did you want – oh. Hi, Harrison.
HEATHER: Are interns supposed to be here this late?
HARRISON: Sean – Mr. Wilkes was just showing me a few things for a paper I have to write. But I can head out if you guys want to grab dinner.
HEATHER: No, that’s fine. I’ll be in my office, Sean. Let me know if you head out.
HEATHER: Oh, and Harrison? Be sure to drop your timesheet off on my desk when you leave.
HARRISON: Yeah, sure.
[SFX]: Heather leaves, closing the door behind her.
SEAN: God, I’m gonna hear about that one later.
HARRISON: Did you want to go? Seriously, I can head out, we can listen to the rest of this tomorrow.
SEAN: No, it’s – this is fine.
HARRISON: They sound cute. Anika and the guy.
HARRISON: Were you guys ever like that?
SEAN: Gag worthy?
HARRISON: Romantic, head over heels for each other.
[SFX]: A busy college quad.
SEAN: Excuse me, do you know where – Okay, cool, walking right past people while they’re talking to you is not rude at all.
HEATHER: Welcome to New York, buddy.
SEAN: I thought that whole rude New York attitude was a myth.
HEATHER: Come here, I’ll let you in on a secret. There’s just more people here. More people means more assholes.
SEAN: That is some sound logic.
HEATHER: What are you looking for?
SEAN: The music rooms?
HEATHER: Music major?
SEAN: God, no. Journalism. I just like Jazz. A hobby, you know?
HEATHER: You any good?
SEAN: Good’s subjective.
HEATHER: Well, maybe I’ll have to judge for myself one day.
SEAN: Maybe you will.
HEATHER: Music rooms are over there.
SEAN: I’m Sean.
SEAN: It was nice to meet you, Heather.
HEATHER: Don’t let the smile fool you, Sean. I’m a New York asshole, too.
HARRISON: Sorry, was that inappropriate? I am seriously going to read the employee handbook one day, I swear.
SEAN: We were.
HARRISON: You –
SEAN: She made me… stupid, crazy.
HARRISON: What happened?
SEAN: Same thing that happened to these kids.
SEAN: Let’s call it a night, okay? Back at it in the morning.
END OF EPISODE 6